You can’t mess with perfection.

Now, you may be aware of the fact that I am a fan of all things superhero related. It’s just a fact; I was raised on them and since I was a wee lass, eating gushers and watching the various animated series, I have spent much of my parent’s hard-earned money reliving the glory of the heroes on the big screen. I am not ashamed of this. Which one is my favorite, you ask? Is it Superman in all of his invincible, speedy, super strength splendor? Nay! Is it Batman, with all of his conflicting emotions, tortured psyche and awesome gadgets? By no means! Is it the Flash, or Aquaman, or the Green Lantern, or any of the other less important members of the Justice League that everyone forgets about? Now that’s a stupid question. (Actually, While I’m here, I would like to say that Marvel heroes will always have my vote over DC heroes. But that is another soapbox and I’m sure you don’t actually care.)

Anyway my point is that while I love and respect all comic book heroes, my favorite one of all time would have to be Spider-Man. (Although don’t ask me to pick between him and Wolverine. That’s like picking between your two perfect children.) Maybe it’s his super cool web-slinging talents or his red-headed sweetheart, but bottom line, I’ve always been a sucker for a nerd.

I’ve said all this to lead up to this one thing: the Spider-Man musical.

You can bet that when I heard about it, my interest was more than a little piqued. I love musicals, but I was skeptical that a musical could glorify my fictional future husband (back off, MJ) and retain his manliness. Unfortunately, I didn’t even have time to research this musical, because I was too busy reading about how it is potentially the most dangerous broadway hit ever. (It’s also the most expensive. the music was written by Bono, you know.) You see, it’s not dangerous for the fans. Actually, the show is attracting record crowds and has surpassed Wicked in sales. The problem is that the actors keep getting almost dead on set.

So far, two actors were injured during practice, an actress who has since quit the show was injured, and a stunt man fell 20-30 feet during a performance. He fractured his skull and cracked some vertebrae.

Now, it could be a terrible coincidence. But, as all good conspiracy theori… I mean journalists know, there has to be a story. I’m going to give you my thoughts. Ready? I said ARE YOU READY???

Okay. I think that the reason the musical is so dangerous for the actors and why it is costing so much money and has been seriously delayed in the production process, is something of a curse. Stay with me.

You see, Spider-Man is great. He is a truth avenger and a love protector. He has a fabulous costume and is also smart and wears cute glasses. When the unsuspecting broadway crowd decided to bring his to their world, they did something like defiling his coolness. They made him fly in the air on a stage like a pansy and even in his demure, mysterious, shy guy way, he disapproved. So, the poor actors who are just doing their jobs are reaping the consequences.

Don’t get me wrong, I am totally for broadway. Just don’t put my heroes on stages. They prefer to brood in private.

*I know they aren’t real y’all. Or are they…??

That is all.


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