Y’all… I just spent a good five minutes trying to decide if I capitalized my title correctly. I’ve been grading too many papers.
ANYWAY. Here is a life update: I am married and teaching high school! Everything I’ve ever wanted.
We have two cars, a lovely apartment, two beautiful babies(fish)***, I have a great job that I love, even with all of its challenges. Up until a couple weeks ago, my husband had a pretty good job too. But then: (cue dramatic music) he gets laid off. It wasn’t exactly ideal timing. I was just getting ready to start buying Christmas presents and ugly sweaters (see previous blog posts about how much I love Christmas). But, such is life.
So, like the responsible and industrious man that he is, my husband starts filling out job applications like crazy. He finally got a couple of interviews and then last night, a call! He has a job! But here’s the thing. It’s a graveyard shift. Basically I’ll get home for work just in time to kiss him goodbye and vice versa.
Now. In case you had forgotten, we are only newly married. We haven’t even been at this for three months yet. I still want him to go jean shopping with me because I can’t stand to be apart (which of course, he loves). So the schedule of his new job is, of course, disconcerting to me. Since finding out, I have tried so hard to be supportive and positive. The job will allow us to have a lot more financial freedom than before. God has blessed us tremendously in that regard. But you know what? I’d rather have my husband home with me at night.
It’s a difficult place for me emotionally, because we have all been praying so hard for Kai to get a job. God was gracious enough to keep us afloat financially in the mean time. And our prayers were answered with this job offer. The answer just isn’t what I want it to be. God’s provision doesn’t look like I want it to. I was prepared for us to take a financial hit from a new job. Not a time-with-my-new-husband hit.
In my prayer time, I’m having a hard time not being ticked at God. Why can’t the answer be something I was prepared for? Why can’t I sacrifice something that I was already ready to give up? But in this, I realize: God’s plan is sovereign and perfect and I need to get my butt on board with it. God has been so faithful to us in our new marriage. We are beyond blessed. This is the first time that we even have to face something legitimately difficult.
I’ve had this verse on a note in may car for the last couple of months:
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits! Psalm 103:2
I have to remember to not just praise Him when everything is lovely. The challenge is only temporary; God is permanent. It’s like my favorite preacher (my dad) said on Sunday: God is teaching us to trust him when the miracle provision stops. I’m so glad I serve a faithful God.
Well, since I’m about to have a lot of free time while my husband works, more posts to follow 🙂
That is all.
*** One of our fish died last night. RIP, little buddy. Miss you forever.